Obligatory Narcissism

Have some information.

I am a white male, not quite thirty. I am average height. I have blue eyes and graying hair. I am overweight but do not look as heavy as the scale says I am.

I am married. Our daughter is a year old. Our two dogs are four years old.

My wife is energetic, outgoing, and cheerful. I am not.

My daughter is energetic, cheerful and curious. She seems to fit the description of a one year old child perfectly.

One of the dogs is energetic and outgoing. The other is not.

There will be pictures of my wife, daughter and dogs, but not me. They are attractive, cute, and cute in that order. I am not. I am hideously, grotesquely, horrifyingly ugly.

I am told I have a very dry sense of humor.